Royals vs Roses - a lesson in "know thyself"

For as long as I can remember, I have loved my mother’s fine china, the Sarabande pattern by Royal Doulton.  I would eagerly and proudly help her set the table for her elaborate dinner parties, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, admiring the simplicity to its pure white design accented by the subtle black pattern around the edge.  Then, when I was a teenager, my grandmother passed away.  I helped my mom pack up her things, which included carefully wrapping my grandmother's extensive china collection, a 24-person place setting by Spode, with the delicate, intricate and beautiful Chinese Rose pattern to be shipped back to our home.  My mom faithfully alternated the patterns and used both often.

Fast forward about 10 years: I got engaged and was going through the overwhelming task of registering for gifts.  My mom suggested we not bother with fine china, for a variety of practical reasons, including the fact that I would one day inherit one of her patterns.   It went without saying for both of us that this meant the Royal Doulton pattern.  After all, it was the more modern pattern, which matched me - a modern "city mouse".  Despite seeing the delicate beauty to the Chinese Rose pattern, I couldn’t for the life of me envision such a traditional pattern gracing the top of the sleek, minimalist dining room table I would surely one day own.

Fast forward about another 10 years:  I married my husband and we moved up north, to a scenic, idyllic little speck on the US map known as the Berkshires.  I was (voluntarily) going to become a "country mouse".  By a beautiful stroke of serendipity, I found myself falling in love with a perfectly imperfect 1852 farmhouse, with mismatched trim and uneven wood floors.  We stepped into the house and something clicked.  I felt...authentic.  Turns out, THIS was ME.  I was surprised by it.  

As luck would have it, just as my husband and I were upsizing, my parents were downsizing, and it became the perfect time for me to take one of my mom’s china patterns off her hands.  When she asked which one I wanted, I answered quickly – Royal Doulton of course.  It’s more “me” after all.  It always has been.  No brainer. 

Only, it turns out, it wasn’t. 

When I told my mom I’d take the Doulton pattern, she paused and simply said, “Are you sure?  Just think about it.  Whichever one you want is fine, but just think about it.” 

I decided to humor her.  I’d let her think I thought about it for a few days and then tell her I wanted the Doulton.  But instead, I actually did think about it.  And suddenly I realized there was only one answer, and it was clear as day.

Again, I found myself surprised.

It was Chinese Rose that belonged in my character-filled, old New England farmhouse and was meant to grace the reclaimed wood of our dining room table – a far cry from that slick, modern one I had always envisioned.  It was Chinese Rose that had 24 place settings, which I would easily need for holiday gatherings now that all our large family was within a 50 mile radius.  It was the Chinese Rose that had no fewer than a dozen serving platters, bowls and pitchers.  It was simply Chinese Rose. 

It only hit me a few days ago, as I was taking out one of those serving platters, that I had gone through a sort of “rebrand”, not unlike the kind many companies go through.  I had found myself struggling to find the brand (in this case the china pattern) that aligned with my culture (in this case my own self) and I was clinging to the brand I had grown up with, the brand I had associated myself to, not recognizing that somewhere in those 20 years, I had developed my own,different culture - my own, different self.  And it simply wasn't reflected by the Doulton pattern.  Such a realization can be surprising - jarring, even.  It can be exciting, uncomfortable, comforting and liberating. 

Best of all, empowering.  

Royal Doulton is indeed a beautiful pattern, and I do still like, admire and appreciate minimalist, modern design.  But I've learned that there is a difference between admiring and appreciating something for what it is, and adopting it as your own.  

I encourage you to take a step back and reflect on the aspects of your brand or culture that are authentic and genuine, and which are assumed or adopted.  Accept your authentic self and make that your own, because after all, it already is.  You might be surprised - others will admire and appreciate you for it.

Breaking News! Networking doesn't have to be lame!

Thrilled that our Meetup group was featured in the most recent edition of the Berkshire Trade and Commerce publication.  Check it out!  Better yet, if you are a businesswoman in the Berkshires, join our Meetup!  

3 "Back-to-Basics" Business Basics

You don't have to be a foodie to recognize three buzzwords dominating all things food, from grocery store aisles to the hippest farm-to-table restaurant:

Organic.  Sustainable.  Local  

Pretty basic stuff, right?  Well, maybe it's the autumn nip in the air, and the back-to-school mindset that comes along with it, but I've come to notice the "back-to-basics" approach is a trend in more than just food these days.  Maybe all of our new-fangled, high-tech devices and umpteen ways to instantly and incessantly "connect" have left us all longing for the distant, vaguely familiar experience of a simple, authentic, human connection.   

Basic #1: Organic

The ingredients for a strong brand and culture are like those of an organic nutrition label: easy to pronounce and understand.  Ingredients in food should include only those good and wholesome for you, without added preservatives, artificial sweeteners and pesticides.  Ingredients of an organic brand include trust, compassion, authenticity.  Marketing campaigns should be made without inflated exaggeration, worthless gimmicks and constant email spamming.  (Really, spam has no business in your inbox nor on grocery shelves.)  

Imagine being able to go to a website and simply find what you're looking for - without having to dodge advertisements that invade your screen and flashing calls to action that do nothing more than get in the way of what you're looking for.  Imagine not having to give away your name, email address and blood type just to continue reading an article that you soon realize has as many empty calories as a loaf of Wonder Bread.     

Basic #2: Sustainable

This word has become synonymous with "green" and "energy efficient". Appropriate, sure, but let's recall the official definition of sustainable: "able to be maintained at a certain rate or level."  

This might go without saying (but since we're getting back to basics, I'm going to say it anyway): people are what enable a business to stay in business.  People not only hire your services or buy your products, but it is people who deliver the services and people who design, make and sell your products.  If it were not for that latter group of people - your employees - you would be in just as much trouble as if you didn't have paying customers.  Treat them right and recognize they have a life, or better yet, that they are a life. 

And on the flip side, it would be helpful for those paying customers to recognize that a business can only actually be in business if it makes a profit.  Profit, like fat, is good for you - in moderation, of course.  It's what keeps you going.  We can't keep expecting for companies to drive prices down and then be shocked, disappointed, annoyed or infuriated when we find out they outsource jobs overseas.  

Which, of course, leads me right to...

Basic #3: Local

I love online shopping just as much as the next person.  It offers significant conveniences, perks and often, cost savings.  But let's not forget about our own local grocer, hardware store and bank and do our part to bolster, support and grow our own, local economies.  You know, the ones that help fund our schools, repair our streets and clean our parks.  The ones that create more jobs, not just here in this country, but in your state, your county, your town.  

It's elementary, my dear Watson

You might say these basics are rather, well...basic.  Then again, basics usually are.  We often look for complex, complicated solutions when the best solution is usually the most obvious, the most straight forward.  It's helpful to recall another great basic: the KISS principle.  The food industry has nailed KISS with "organic, sustainable and local."  Something stupidly basic has become, quite simply, novel.  

Imagine if we applied a "farm to table" approach for business and marketing.  I think it's not only possible and necessary, but very much desired by consumers, customers and clients who have (over)indulged on the "junkfood" which businesses have been dishing out lately.  They're ready for a cleanse, a detox of sorts.  

They're ready to get back to basics.  

Like what you've read?  Please comment or share!  

Amazon: a Creature of our own making

It's hard to have missed the recent hubbub about Amazon's corporate culture. I'll resist the urge to launch into an analysis and lecture about its culture and rather focus on a different side of the story that jumped out at me when I read the NY Times article that ignited this most recent firestorm.  

“A customer was able to get an Elsa doll that they could not find in all of New York City, and they had it delivered to their house in 23 minutes,” said Ms. Landry, who was authorized by the company to speak, still sounding exhilarated months later about providing “Frozen” dolls in record time.

That becomes possible, she and others said, when everyone follows the dictates of the leadership principles. “We’re trying to create those moments for customers where we’re solving a really practical need,” Ms. Landry said, “in this way that feels really futuristic and magical.”

I'm sorry, but when did getting a doll delivered to my front door in less time than I can cook dinner become a really practical need??  Has our addiction to instant gratification really become so bad? What are we teaching our children?  Certainly not that good things come to those that wait.  I suppose it's time to clean that tarnish off our silver platters.  On second thought, let's just buy new ones - it'll probably be quicker.  

I'm all for customer service and a "customer is always right" mentality.  But come on, customers - let's get real.  Let's take a good, hard look at our expectations, standards and rights as consumers, and not mistake one for the other.  

And when toxic corporate cultures are created to meet these ever-loftier expectations, let's not stand there in shock and indignation, condemning the very monster we helped to create by setting the bar so high and rewarding its success by contributing to its colossal growth with our "1-click" purchases.   

Now, let me be clear on this: I am not defending Amazon's corporate culture nor do I believe that such a culture is the only way for a company be successful (look at Google and Starbucks).  But you also didn't have to agree with Bela Karolyi's controversial coaching style to recognize its effect on gymnastic legends like Mary Lou Retton.  The difference between Amazon employees and Karolyi's gymnasts of course, is that the former are adults, making the decision to work at, stay at or leave Amazon of their own, free, adult will.  

I simply am suggesting that before we jump to condemn a private company's internal culture, we should first take a long, hard look at our own, tarnished social culture.  I believe Amazon's culture is simply a symptom of a much larger problem - a problem for which, sadly and truthfully, we are responsible.

We seem to suffer from a sort of Frankenstein-syndrome, where we end up in the predicament of trying to tame the very Creature we helped to create in the first place.  Kind of like the NFL.  

If we are so adamantly appalled at Amazon's corporate culture, let's stop being enablers and cultivate the cultures in our own backyards.  Let's put away our smartphones and make our purchases from our own, local shops. Let's lower our demands, just a little.  Not at the expense of basic consumer rights and good, quality service, but in the name of empathy, sustainability, and humanity.  Let's recall the difference between "need" and "want" and teach our children the valuable virtue of patience.  Let's recognize the cost to our environment and privacy to meet our so-called need for better, cheaper, NOW! 

Yes, absolutely: retailers, service providers, and businesses must take responsibility to provide the highest level of service and quality, at all times, without exception.  But as customers, clients and consumers, we have a responsibility too: to recognize the difference between maintaining high standards and unreasonable expectations.  May we all find the courage to demand high standards, the grace to accept reasonable limitations and the wisdom to know the difference.  Maybe, just maybe, we can find a happy medium.  

Desperately seeking differentiators

Recently, I got another email talking about the importance of differentiating your firm.  This one was for a webinar where they promise that you will"learn how to choose your differentiator".  Wait, all I have to do it choose?!  Who knew!

When exactly did your differentiator become a choice?  If I do something simply and only for the sake of being 'different', what is the value?  Even if there were some sort of master list from which to choose, isn't it then likely that someone else will choose the same thing?  And when did a differentiator become a "thing" anyway?  Must be somewhat recently, because spell check keeps flagging it.

Don't get me wrong - differentiators are valuable and can be very effective.  They are a vehicle by which to deliver a message.  But let's remember to put it belongs, where it can actually be useful (you know, behind the horse).  Here are a few things to keep in mind about differentiators, and why you are better served to focus on being authentic rather than on being different.

Here today, gone tomorrow.  

So you found something that makes you truly, genuinely quite different.  That's great!   Just don't put all your gluten-free, organic eggs in that ethically-traded basket because it won't take long for people to jump on your fuel-efficient bandwagon.  If it's any good, your differentiator will go from "oh-so-different" to "not-so-different" faster than you can say iPhone 7.  

They're just not that into you.  

Don't try to be everything to everyone.  This is not only impossible and exhausting - it's counterproductive, eroding and devaluing your brand. Accept that you are not a good fit for everyone and move on - don't change what you do or how you do it or who you are just to please someone else.  Good dating advice, too (thanks mom). 

Speaking of your mom, she was wrong 

You're really not all that special (don't shoot the messenger).  It's easy to be distracted by other people's fancy (and sometimes less-than-fancy) "differentiators."  We've all been there: you stumble across someone's website or blog post and mutter under your breath, "but I do that!"  In fact, it just happened to me.  Twice, yesterday.  Before lunch.  

Trying to one-up them and prove that it was in fact an original thought - YOUR original thought, damn it! - is unproductive, futile and quite honestly, unnecessary.  Just because someone else had the same idea does not diminish yours...unless of course, you let it.  But it will take away valuable time that would be better used simply doing whatever it is that you do.  Maybe differently, maybe better, maybe not.  But at least it will be authentic.  Imagine that.

Potato, potato

Nobody cares if you communicate, articulate, translate, exemplify, demonstrate, or illustrate your point - just please do it so that we actually understand, comprehend,  digest, grasp, follow or "get" it.  Using the word 'synergy' in place of 'collaboration' does not differentiate you, it simply proves you can use a thesaurus. 

It's all relative

The reason differentiators are so complicated is that they can only exist relative to something else; something which itself is different for every person based on a different set of circumstances, different experiences, different standards and different expectations.  In short, we overlook the theory of relativity and try to define something without an 'absolute' frame of reference in 'absolute' terms. Daunting, even for Einstein.

Don't let the tail wag the dog

Differentiors can be incredibly powerful - when they come from a place of authenticity.  They should be the genuine result of your efforts, not the driving reason for them.  Do things only for the sake of being different and you will lose sight of your authenticity, and when you lose your authenticity, you will lose your only real differentiator.  After all, the only thing that nobody else can be, is you.  And that right there, is perfectly different.  (Thanks again, mom.)